While running on Bull Creek Trail this morning, esteemed microprocessor architect, Eric Holbrook made an astonishing breakthrough theory. I innocently asked the question, “Do you think cockroaches come up out of the drains to get in the house?” Eric immediately threw cold water on my Drain Theory, and exclaimed, “Everybody knows that all of the socks that get lost in the washing turn into cockroaches.” Everybody indeed.

So, the discussion inevitably turned to the famous English chemist, Joseph Priestley who discovered oxygen and carbon dioxide. He noticed that if a mouse was placed in a bell jar by itself it would get sick and die, but if he put a plant in there to keep him company, the mouse could survive indefinitely. I started wondering what would happen if you placed a Venus Flytrap and loads of flies in a glass jar. Would the plant eat the flies and then not have any carbon dioxide to breathe? Just for good measure, I’d put a candle in there too and let them all fight it out for survival. What I would like to be the result is a giant implosion that creates a rip in the space-time continuum so I can visit the year 1703 and witness the invention of pudding. I’m not sure if any of this is possible, but someone needs to try.

When ordering a latte, the barrista should assume “hot” unless otherwise noted. Iced lattes are for the weak of mind and spirit who are unable to understand the beauty of hot beverages. Thus, they should be made to suffer by being forced to utter this heinous adjective every time they commit the sin. The iced latte people are almost as bad as those who order breakfast tacos without eggs. You know who you are.

Mitya000 and I got into this huge debate last night about the definition of a grotto whilst bumperman played the role of the armed moderator. Mitya000 defined it simply as “a place where Satanists meet”. I didn’t think that was right. So, I wikipedia’d it, and they describe it as “when it is not an artificial garden feature, is a cave, small or quite large, usually near water and often flooded or liable to flood at high tide.” The argument wasn’t about the definition so much as it was my condemnation for him defining something in terms of an uncommon use. I feel that this is equivalent to me defining a duck as “something I wear on my head while yelling the constitution backwards in my neighbor’s yard”. Yes, I could do that with a duck, but that wouldn’t really describe the essence of a duck. This debate went on and on, and ended with Mitya000 eventually claiming that all information in wikipedia was wrong because it was typed in by an overweight guy Star Wars fan living in his parents’ basement. The weird thing was, previous to that statement, he used wikipedia to lookup Satanism to prove that they do indeed meet in Grottos sometimes. Bumperman thankfully moved the conversation in the direction of old timey gingersnaps after that and kind of saved the entire evening.

I found this laying around unpublished on my WordPress backend. I think it’s some discussion about Halloween costumes that me and BJ had last October, but I don’t remember the context. Nonetheless, it amuses me, and I needed to do something to respond to Februween.

<mitya000> you could be the limit of the speed of light.
<hoyhoy>  I'll just get a suit with italic 'c's all over it like that question mark infomercial guy.
<mitya000> I would dress up as division by zero and we could have a fight to the death.
<mitya000> If i win, the universe implodes.