I am the original author of yesterday’s post, but Chupacabra reposted it to his blog unattributed for some reason. If this is not sorted out, the next time I see old boy’s Vespa down at Guero’s, one of his cherished homies shall meet a most uncerimonious end.

This is the first Internet meme that I have ever done. It’s really too self-indulgent to pass-up though.

1.) I ordered a Roast Beef sandwich from the Stimson Avenue Rax Drive-thru in Athens, Ohio while running two revolving amber lights atop my 1991 Dodge Shadow (The original ghetto sled).
2.) When I was two, I was obsessed with light switches and would inexplicably shout “ZAZZLE!” after every heedless on-off cycle.
3.) Every year between the ages 9-14, my parents would buy me a $100 Huffy bicycle and I would immediately proceed to ruin it by constantly attempting BMX tricks and jumping it over a ramp consisting of a piece of plywood resting on a mason block. Eventually, I would bribe younger kids to lie in front of the ramp so I could judge how much airtime I would get. Lengthwise Benjamin Littel and Scotty Clifford plus width-wise Joey Latham was my final record.
4.) I freely exercise my right to juggle at most three pieces of citrus fruit every time I enter a Super Target. Also, I was once reprimanded by an associate there for bowling a cantelope down an aisle to make sure that it would veer left just like a ripe one should.
5.) I seriously thought donut holes really were left over dough from the center of donuts until about six months ago.