I thought that it’d be easy to break up a httpd.conf file up into multiple files per VirtualHost using a single line of perl. Turns out, I was most mistaken. Here is the one loooong line of perl to perform the explosion.

perl -ne ' if (/<Virtualhost (\*:80|[0-9.:]+)>/ .. /< \/VirtualHost>/) { $data.=$_ }; if (/ServerName/) { chomp; $sn=$_; $sn=~s/\s*ServerName\s*([^\s]+)\s*/$1/; } if (/<\/VirtualHost>/) { open(outfile, ">>$sn.conf"); print outfile $data; close outfile; $data="" } ' < httpd.conf

Today, Mr. John Northeast sent me the best birthday poem that I have ever received. It is even better than bumper’s effort from last year, “Twenty-nine Prime Fishotots”. While bumper’s effort was appreciated, John’s opus easily usurps it due to his poem’s unique pentameter and rhyme. Hats off to you, Mr. Northeast as you are Samuel T. Coleridge’s worthy heir. I have Paypal’d five pounds Sterling to the barman at The Boot and instructed him to dole out a frosty mug of Tom Wood’s Jolly Ploughman on my behalf.

Today is Tony’s Birthday
Hip Hip Hip Hooray
He’s reached a special milestone
To celebrate today
You see, he’s just reached 30
And recently got wed
Let’s hope the celebrations
Don’t go to his head
Have a great day, Tony
Enjoy it while you can
‘Cause the next big celebration
Is when you’re 40 man

Happy Birthday
John

Well, last night was pretty much the best nuclear taco night ever. I won’t attribute any of these, but here are some of the highlights.

“If it wasn’t for the plow, Britney Spears wouldn’t even exist!”
“The town crier was mass media in the 1700s!”
“Britney Spears and Shakespeare are the same thing.”
“There are no self-made men.”
“British MPs gave me a T-Shirt that said ‘Fort Niagra 1814′ when I was in Belize, and I didn’t know why it was so funny.”
“One time I’d like to come here and have Cow do most of the talking”
“My daddy dropped me on my head as an infant. That’s why I couldn’t take the FE.”
“I DIDN’T EVEN STUDY FOR THE FE AND I GOT A 95%!”
“It’s not exploitation, it’s a symbiotic relationship!”
“You need to learn to exploit the triangle. It has always existed.”
“You have to have deceit in your heart before you can sense it in others.”
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”