While running on Bull Creek Trail this morning, esteemed microprocessor architect, Eric Holbrook made an astonishing breakthrough theory. I innocently asked the question, “Do you think cockroaches come up out of the drains to get in the house?” Eric immediately threw cold water on my Drain Theory, and exclaimed, “Everybody knows that all of the socks that get lost in the washing turn into cockroaches.” Everybody indeed.

So, the discussion inevitably turned to the famous English chemist, Joseph Priestley who discovered oxygen and carbon dioxide. He noticed that if a mouse was placed in a bell jar by itself it would get sick and die, but if he put a plant in there to keep him company, the mouse could survive indefinitely. I started wondering what would happen if you placed a Venus Flytrap and loads of flies in a glass jar. Would the plant eat the flies and then not have any carbon dioxide to breathe? Just for good measure, I’d put a candle in there too and let them all fight it out for survival. What I would like to be the result is a giant implosion that creates a rip in the space-time continuum so I can visit the year 1703 and witness the invention of pudding. I’m not sure if any of this is possible, but someone needs to try.